![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I am reading this book entitled Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson and so far, it helps alleviate my hopelessness. I am grateful and I intend to finish this fucking book before the end of this week!
I also do intend to read on MANIFESTING! I feel that this is what I need to live purposefully and with intention. PLAN, PLAN, PLAN! Is what my inner voice is telling me to do, and I believe it in my bones. Not sure about the "witchy" stuff but I definitely want to learn how to read Tarot Cards.
I also do intend to read on MANIFESTING! I feel that this is what I need to live purposefully and with intention. PLAN, PLAN, PLAN! Is what my inner voice is telling me to do, and I believe it in my bones. Not sure about the "witchy" stuff but I definitely want to learn how to read Tarot Cards.
Is there something wrong with me?
Dec. 5th, 2021 11:25 am I missed my therapy session today. I didn't feel much like talking about what I feel lately. I do not want to hear anybody's opinion about it either or lecture me about it. I just want to keep to myself and listen to my own thoughts.
Birthday Week
Jun. 12th, 2021 02:43 amI had a thought that Ryan maybe doesn’t care whether I get to do the things I want while cooped up in his place such as working out. Then this voice inside my head yelled I DON’T EXPECT RYAN TO WORRY ABOUT MY BUSINESS! Working out is my business. Ryan isn’t my husband or boyfriend even to put that pressure of an expectation on him. I am happy to take care of myself
I miss home...
Nov. 5th, 2020 08:50 amIt seems that my default thoughts are of Gary and ugly thoughts of him. My brain is still rationalizing the loss. Today, it blamed myself. I remember the times I got so mad and yelled at him and my actions seemed to rattle him. He didn't know how to handle an upset woman. And he didn't take responsibility for it. He was all about having his way and none of the obligations. I guess he never grew up in that sense.
When you're away from the people you love there's a part of you that can never feel whole.
When you're away from the people you love there's a part of you that can never feel whole.
It's gloomy and chilly today...
Oct. 21st, 2020 12:01 pm Sometimes when I catch myself talking to no one in particular it makes me laugh to hear the silly things I say. I can say the most awful and stupidest thing!
Anyway, I was just looking through The Rawrsome Vegan LIfe's photos on Instagram and one picture of her reminded me of that time I visited The Animal Sanctuary. It was the happiest day of my life to see the animals! I wanted a picture to commemorate that special moment but I was too worried about how I would look in the photos because I felt fat and ugly. I felt fat and ugly when I was with Gary. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to be happy. Happiness is imperative in life! And I need to put in the work for my own personal happiness. Reading David Goggins' book is giving me the inspiration to take up the challenge.
Anyway, I was just looking through The Rawrsome Vegan LIfe's photos on Instagram and one picture of her reminded me of that time I visited The Animal Sanctuary. It was the happiest day of my life to see the animals! I wanted a picture to commemorate that special moment but I was too worried about how I would look in the photos because I felt fat and ugly. I felt fat and ugly when I was with Gary. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to be happy. Happiness is imperative in life! And I need to put in the work for my own personal happiness. Reading David Goggins' book is giving me the inspiration to take up the challenge.
Emotionally Unavailable
Sep. 9th, 2020 04:46 pmThis is a good article about Emotional Unavailability. This is a perfect way to describe my relationship with Gary.
I don't have time for distractions
Sep. 7th, 2020 11:31 amI want to go to Woodstock Animal Sanctuary when they open back up for their trips. Sanctuary Address
I got rid of my Wireclub account. Good riddens!
2020 is an important year for me because it taught me to focus on what matters most in life. It woke me up to the reality that I have ignored, over-looked, missed and took for granted. You cannot offer what you don't have. I want to better my entire self so I can do better in life.
I got rid of my Wireclub account. Good riddens!
2020 is an important year for me because it taught me to focus on what matters most in life. It woke me up to the reality that I have ignored, over-looked, missed and took for granted. You cannot offer what you don't have. I want to better my entire self so I can do better in life.
(no subject)
Aug. 8th, 2020 03:04 pm It takes great courage to be a no-bullshit person. I am working to be that person. I have been in a relationship with a bullshitter. It's not a great experience. I would prefer to not have to go though that again. No decent person deserves to go though that.
Practice typing...
Jul. 14th, 2020 09:06 pm I am done with feeling insecure. I am done being in someone's head. I want to live on my own terms. Not here to please anybody. Or to fit to anyone's perception of how I should be. I am my own person. I live by my own rules. I love myself. I do what I want with my life.
How do I feel today?
May. 4th, 2020 01:23 pmThankfully, each day gets easier. Although I have a lot of questions left unanswered I feel I am slowly learning the grace to accept what I cannot change and focus on changing what I can.
As each day goes by, I am changing and evolving. Though I don't know what will happen to me in the future and I cannot pretend to not be confused at this point but one thing is know for sure, this experience is making me a better person. I can feel it in my veins! I am aware that my mind is feeding me positive images that help me put my brave on. It's scary and exciting at the same time.
As each day goes by, I am changing and evolving. Though I don't know what will happen to me in the future and I cannot pretend to not be confused at this point but one thing is know for sure, this experience is making me a better person. I can feel it in my veins! I am aware that my mind is feeding me positive images that help me put my brave on. It's scary and exciting at the same time.
Listening to Dandapani is really enlightening. I'm glad I found him on YouTube.
I've recently deleted Instagram from my phone. I don't miss it. I feel less anxious with less apps on my phone. It really makes a significant difference. And Dandapani has pointed it out very well. Everyone has finite energy. Knowing how to allocate and use your energy wisely throughout the day helps you stay more focused and aware. It's sustainable and practical and keeps life simple. I don't have any resistance to this realization because I have always believe in this way of life ever since. I don't know who taught me this but as far back as I can remember, I always valued simplicity, moderation and substance over the frantic and frenetic that the world is today.
Peace and harmony is where my spirit is drawn to.
I've recently deleted Instagram from my phone. I don't miss it. I feel less anxious with less apps on my phone. It really makes a significant difference. And Dandapani has pointed it out very well. Everyone has finite energy. Knowing how to allocate and use your energy wisely throughout the day helps you stay more focused and aware. It's sustainable and practical and keeps life simple. I don't have any resistance to this realization because I have always believe in this way of life ever since. I don't know who taught me this but as far back as I can remember, I always valued simplicity, moderation and substance over the frantic and frenetic that the world is today.
Peace and harmony is where my spirit is drawn to.
