It sucks that, nowadays, I only get the urge to write in my journal when I am feeling blue - like now. I really can't tell you why I feel sad. I hate this feeling and I've been able to either repel it or block it with positive thoughts. But there are times when I feel I just have to give in, you know? I just... *sigh* I feel like giving up finding myself and striving to reach for the tail end of my dream. Its this point where I question myself "what's the point?". And questions about the future arise. Like will my job be enough to keep me alive when I am old. Which brings me to that other inevitable stage in my life which I don't think I want to reach - being old... Then I question my life choices... if I ever made good ones? Real ones? Right ones?

I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep for ten years.